If you are thinking about walking away, be sure that you aren’t overlooking some way to achieve a mutually satisfying outcome. This may be the most valuable moment in the entire negotiation.
In the commonly used sense of the phrase, a win-win negotiation is a deal that satisfies both sides. In an ideal world, a win-win agreement is the only kind of deal that would ever close. Even in today’s world, the vast majority of negotiations end in win-win situations.
Win-win negotiating does not mean that you must give up your goals or worry about the other person getting what they want in the negotiation. You have your hands full looking out for your own interests. Let others bear the primary responsibility for achieving their goals. Practice honesty and respect in all your negotiations. But looking out for the other side isn’t your job. It’s theirs.
Recognizing a good deal
A good deal is one that is fair under all circumstances at the time the agreement is made. It provides for various contingencies before problems arise. A good deal is workable in the real world.
To be sure that you have a good deal and a win-win situation, ask yourself the following questions just before closing:
• Does the agreement further your long-range goals?
• Does the agreement fall comfortably within the goals and limits that you set for this particular negotiation?
• Can you perform your side of the agreement to the fullest?
• Do you intend to meet your commitment?
• Based on all the information, can the other side perform the agreement to your expectations?
• Based on what you know, does the other side intend to carry out the terms of the agreement?
In the ideal situation, the answer to all six questions is a resounding yes. If you are unsure about any one of them, take some extra time. Review the entire situation. Assess how the agreement could be changed in order to create a yes answer to each question. Try your best to make the changes needed to get a firm yes to each question. Then, close the deal. Don’t go for any more changes even if you think that the other person wouldn’t mind.
If you can’t alter the deal so that you can answer yes to each question, be very thoughtful about closing. If you decide to go forward, write down exactly why you are closing the deal anyway so that you don’t become part of that army of people with tales of exploitation. This exercise is particularly helpful to your state of mind if the results don’t work out; you have a record as to why you took the deal. You won’t be so hard on yourself.
Remember that the people you are dealing with are more important than the paperwork you draft. Know your counterpart very well before you enter into a long-term relationship. No lawyer can protect you from a crook. Lawyers can just put you in a position to win your lawsuit.
Some people tend to be overly concerned about the other party’s welfare in a negotiation, smothering their own goals in the process. When you’re engaged in a negotiation, you must allow other people to take care of themselves. Your job as a negotiator is to get what you want. Remaining true to that objective may involve upsetting someone. Part of negotiating well is having the strength to take that risk.
Adapted from “Negotiating For Dummies” by Michael C. Donaldson, Mimi Donaldson, David Frohnmayer, Wiley Publishing, www.dummies.com.
